It seems as if the „bad days“ at work have accumulated in the past weeks. In general I enjoy my work but recently there are a few things that really get to me (mostly the way my superior talks to me and how he treats me) and leave me feeling miserable at the end of the day. Once home I sometimes can’t stop thinking about the phone calls I made or the decisions I took. In my head I analyse the entire day over and over again and I wish this would stop and some of my self confidence would return. Because I am good at what I am doing! So in order to distract myself I often end up on my couch directly after work, too tired and exhausted to do anything else than watch some Netflix or browse pinterest and tumblr. Every day I try to fight that urge. And luckily this week I so far succeeded! (except this Monday where I almost feel asleep and was then woken by phone calls and messages of friends and family because this happened here) Yesterday I went to SO36 to sing Shape Notes with friends and later listen to the performances of the Berlin Pop Choir and Berlin Pop Ensemble that performed there. And today I tried my hand on some watercolours again. I am not a pro and I am not really good at it but it calmed me and it stopped the overthinking.
Tomorrow evening I will be on a train on my way to my parents to celebrate Christmas. And I have high hopes that I can free my mind from all the shit that weighs upon it in the few days I am visiting my family. (there’s a forest, there’s a lake, there’s nature, there’s lots of time to go out and take pictures in the rain)